random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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