I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
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