in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just pee around me
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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