You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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