no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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