hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
