Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
