I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My dick has a subreddit
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
