he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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