John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
