i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
