If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
