how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
