She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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