i need an iv and a liver transplant
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have aggressive nipples.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
