Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize