Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
