I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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