I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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