so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize