so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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