Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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