you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
