i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My feet surprised me
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
