Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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