i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
