no, he came in my armpit
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
should my penis look like a turkey
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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