Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
