she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
