Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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