Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
