I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
