i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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