I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
