well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
