# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Randomize
