so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
