You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize