does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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