So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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