i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
