IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
