I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
