no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
