HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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