windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
