I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
