I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
