He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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