just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
as a side note pls kill me
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
