I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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