Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
