Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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