in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
