Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
