he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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