so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
