Don't you send me to vm
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
