I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just high enough for therapy.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
