He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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