I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Someone came in the potted fern
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize