i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
