he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
