Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
