Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
